DAY 39,40,41,43 & 44/160

Dear Baby Milline, 

So I want to be honest with you here, I am writing about Day's 39-41 and perhaps including days 43-44 all in this one letter to you. I some how managed to get behind on my daily letters to you, and I hope to make it up to you in this one long letter. 

Day 39 of 160 was the day I dropped your mother off at the Airport so that she could surprise your great grandmother in Richmond. I did not type a letter out to you that day, as one it was a surprise and I did not want to ruin it by posting this on social media and word some how reaching your great grandmother. But also it was the first time in 5 months your mother and I would spend multiple days apart from one another. It was my first time sleeping multiple days in our apartment alone since we got engaged last year. It was my first time sitting around, lounging, without your mother to talk to in person. I was in a different space Baby Milline. I didn't even take a photo of her departing that day, as it was the last thing on my mind. I did however, make a short video of the day, which somehow mysteriously vanished from my phone. I dropped your mother off before heading into work, and around lunch time I knew she had arrived to Virginia. The remainder of the day was spent visiting the eye doctor to get my contacts prescribed and seeing your grandmother before returning home. 

Day 40 of 160 was extremely difficult as I didn't get much sleep the night before. There is a construction company next door to our apartment that seems to work around the clock 6 days a week. So the noise from the trucks and making of concrete woke me at 2am and from there I found it really difficult to return to sleep. Much of my day at work was spent reacting to a response I received from a high level figure. I won't go into much detail but lets just say he was having a day, and felt the need to take it out on me. My boss wouldn't allow me to respond, which was probably for good measure. That evening I spent some time with my friends as it was an opportunity to get out with the fellas. I wasn't out long, but I did spend some time in East Atlanta Village which is extremely close to the apartment. I've been over in that area for the past 4 years, and since I've been over there, Friday night was the first time I actually spent some time at night in EAV. I got in around 4 AM as I had a photo walk scheduled the following morning and didn't want to be late for the meetup. 

Day 41 of 160 was spent for the most part on the photo walk I had scheduled. I've held meetups in the past where we stayed in one area and took pictures. However, I wanted to reveal to those whom were interested my normal route that I would walk for a photo walk. The walk is about 2.5 miles which isn't that bad of a hike, but with a camera can take up to about 3 hours to complete. 3 other people joined me on the walk and they were really down to earth people. They seem to really enjoy themselves and I was happy about that. That portion of the walk was to last from 4 - 7:30 PM but we did not officially end until 8:30 PM. Which means I got home extremely late. I spent time editing my first YouTube video ever which I talked about in day 42 of 160. It took me approximately 2 hours to edit that vlog as I had and still don't much of an idea of what to do with video editing software. But I will say shooting the footage was extremely fun, though I can see how focusing on recording can interfere with photography. So from this I learned it's either record of photograph for me at this moment. Doing both at the same time, I'm bound to miss something. 

Day 43/160 your mother returns home from Virginia, though there was almost an issue as her flight was over booked, delayed, and the outer bands of Hurricane Nate were affecting flights across the south east. Fortunately your mother was able to get on her flight and make it home safely. I was so happy to see her and had plans all alone that I would record the footage of me picking her up from the airport. Which again means I did not take a single photo, yet I have the footage below. A woman saw me recording as I was pulling up to the airport and attempted to wave me down to give me a thumbs up for what I was doing. I should have asked her to subscribe to my YouTube channel so she could view the footage herself. I wasn't thinking about all of that though as your mother was my primary focus. We ended up going by Cook-out on the way in as your mother wanted a burger for diner and by 10:30 we were both sleep. 

Day 44 of 160 was seeing your mother struggle with returning back to work after a 3 day fall break. I think she was ready to go back to work, just not ready to wake up to do so. Your mom in the mornings are the funniest moments ever. I believe she enjoys being on a get things done right now mission, verses a get things done slowly with time. What I mean by this is though she has to be at work by 7 AM, the alarm goes off at 5, 5:15, 5:25, and sometimes 5:35 before your mother budges. However, once she's up she won't exactly start getting ready right then and there. She may cut the TV on to see the 5 o'clock news, or pick up her phone to catch up on what she missed the night before. Around 6 AM is when your mother will actually start getting ready, giving her about an hour to get everything done she needs to, shower, hair, clothes, accessories, breakfast, lunch, you get the picture. If she's prep the day before lunch will be taken care of but breakfast, especially for you Baby Milline, is a very important meal. However, each morning she makes it to work by 7 AM so she has it down to a science, but I do get a kick out of hearing her say every morning 'Awe Shoot I need to get out of here." 

So Baby Milline, I think we are all caught up now. Today is day 45 of 160 and I'll write about that tonight as the day completes itself. However, I will give you a heads up and myself a reminder right here. It will be about my YouTube channel and me finally come out of the cage I've placed myself in the last 3 years on social media. So I'll be writing to you again a bit later, until then...

Love You, 

Your Father

DAY 42/160

Dear Baby Milline, 

So I finally did it, I finally put my first vlog out there and boy was it much tougher than I ever anticipated. The recording part was fairly easy, and even putting most of it together was as well. However, getting my message across the way I want to, there lies the problem. Baby Milline, your daddy is COUNTRY and you can hear it all through out this video I published today. So in the future it looks like I'll have to work on my speech and diction so that I'm better able to say what I want to say, when I want to say it, and how I want to say it. Well Baby Milline, here is a clip of your fathers first YouTube video ever. I know one day you will ridicule me of my efforts. 

I like how I say vlog in here, I feel like Nicki Manaj saying China in that one song. 

Love You, 

Your Father 

DAY 38/160

Dear Baby Milline, 

My objective today was to start focusing on vlogging once I left the office today. However, I was so tired all I could think about was getting to my destination and resting. Therefore I did not manage to record any footage of my day today to begin working on my first vlog ever. However, I do have all of the equipment I need to start out, or at least I feel I do. 

This morning I did manage to make it to the gym, to get a nice workout in and sauna time to clear my mind.  I spoke with a fellow Howard Alum about homecoming and the possibility of getting tickets to the game this year. I'll have to wait until that Saturday to determine if that will happen or not, but the odds are pretty high.  Your grandmother had a small incident today that initially brought a reaction of concern but a bigger blessing came from it than I or she thought. It's amazing how things occur in our lives even when we are least expecting them. 

This evening was all about family time with your grandparents and catching up on the day and weeks events thus far.  Also this weekend shall be different, but I'll have to tell you why tomorrow as I don't want to ruin a surprise. 

One thing that was on my mind today though was, what if we all did what we wanted to do verses what we had to do? What would the world be like then? Not in a criminal way or mischievous way, but doing things that bring us joy and happiness. I recently found a buddy of my from high school on Facebook today and he's a full time artist I believe. He lives purely off his work, and he's happy with doing that. I don't know if I can consider him a struggling artist or a successful one, but one thing for certain he appears happy to be doing what he is doing. And he's doing it with no regrets. I think it's pretty cool actually. Now this is purely based on a social media profile, so it could be or could not be true. But what if we all followed his way of living and doing what makes us happy unapologetically. Would the world be a better place? 

I don't have an answer to this question yet, but it is something that is now on my mind. Something I may talk about on a vlog one day :-). 

Love You, 

Your Father 

DAY 37/160

Dear Baby Milline, 

I want to do something a little different today, instead of telling you how my day was I'll tell you some of the things I'm thinking about right this moment. Okay here goes...

On average I may spend between 30 - 60 minutes a day watching YouTube vloggers. Some talk about topics I'm interested in such as photography and videography, while others just talk about there day to day lives or the latest gadget they've recently purchased or received as a gift. A few years ago I started watching YouTube a little more than normal and that was when I was blogging daily about Love, Lust, and Relationships. I was a single guy at the time and wanted to voice my opinion on the struggles of dating from the male perspective. The blog got a little traffic and appreciation from some for my honesty, however I noticed a guy on YouTube by the name Kane Carter was getting a lot more engagement than I was, though we shared the same view points. 

Now Baby Milline, we currently live in the age in which your grandparent's will refer to as the microwave society. Everyone wants what they want immediately and patiences has all but been thrown out the door. Near are the days when no one will ever read a physical book, as audible books are the way to go and will get your through a long distance drive or flight. Gone are the days when people will read a newspaper as Social Media has breaking news every minute or every hour. Lastly, and quite possibly effecting me directly the end is possibly near for the blogger.

Vlogging is the new way to go as it is much more personal, since one is able to develop a somewhat personal relationship with your favorite blogger. Seeing someone talk to you in their own voice, during their own time, brings you closer to what he or she may be trying to tell you. It could be complete garbage some times, but people are drawn to one another. Don't believe me, ask anyone living today just how popular reality tv is. People want to know just as much about someone else's life as they do their own. Even making a lot of these people B,C, and D list celebrities. 

I've thought about vlogging for quite some time, matter of fact I recorded my first around the same time I was writing about Love, Lust, and Relationships. However, I felt so weird in my hotel room that day, using my FLiP camera to record myself that I never managed to upload it. The objective when one records themselves is to act as if you're talking to a friend or an audience. All I could think about was I'm talking to myself in a hotel room. 

Yet the possibilities of Vlogging has struck me again, as a few friends have told me they would tune in. But not only that, Vlogging will allow me the opportunity to explore the land of Videography. Another skill set to add to my already growing skillset in photography. It doesn't have to be all about me talking or venting, but it could be another way for me to share the way I see the world artistically. 

I have absolutely no idea what I'd share on a Vlog, or how often I'd do so. From what I've researched the best way to go about it is to develop a pattern so that those that follow the Vlog know when new content is available.  I've thought about possibly doing a daily Vlog, but that seems like a lot of work to be honest. So maybe starting out a few times a week, or perhaps one Vlog as a week in review. 

Casey Neistat is a Daily Vlogger on YouTube, He's actually pretty well known now for his Vlogs. 

One thing I have learned for certain though and I hope that you learn this faster than I did. If there is something you're interested in or passionate about just "start." No matter how weird you may feel or the fear that may come upon you initially just start on that passion or interest. You'll hit a few bumps along the way, but anything beats thinking about it over and over in your head an yet never doing anything. 

A photography instructor once told a story of two photographers. One was a master of his craft and would not reveal any of his work until he felt it was perfect in his eyes. Anything less than a masterpiece the world was never able to see. The other wanted to showcase all of his work from the very beginning and develop his skill set along the way. Who do you think became the most successful photographer he asked? 

Well the answer was the one who showcased his work from the very beginning. For he was able to develop a following based on his work, which lead to more opportunities. The perfectionist on the other hand never released any of his work, for none of it was ever perfect enough in his eyes. 

Again the moral of the story Baby Milline, you're going to mess up, but use those situations as lessons learned to improve and better yourself. Every master started some where as many if not all were not perfect from the very beginning. 

Love You, 

Your Father 

DAY 36/160

Dear Baby Milline, 

Today was a great day. I don't know what it is about waking up first thing in the morning and getting a work out in before my day starts, but whatever it is I feel great the entire day. So today my day started promptly at 4 AM. First thing I did was say a prayer thanking God for allowing me to see another day, for love ones, and another opportunity to seize the moment. After that I read 101 quotes of affirmation, nothing like a little self love. Finished packing my gym bag, told your mother I love her with a kiss and I was out the door about 4:30 AM. This morning I managed to work off about 700 calories before 6 AM which is pretty good considering I've been out of it for a while. 

However, this morning's workout gave me a burst of energy that allowed me to maintain my focus today at work without drifting off into wonderland. Drifting off can be easy, especially if you are sitting in an area all by yourself as I was today. Yet the time flew by and I was thankful for that, as well as the many conversations I was able to have today with other associates in the office.  

After work was I was off to take photos around the neighborhood. Normally when I would work out first thing in the morning I would use the hours upon arriving home as an opportunity to take a nap. But I want to be more productive with my days, as I am realizing that time is all of our most precious resource. I don't want to finish this year and look back wishing I made a better effort to utilize the full 24 hours of my day to be productive. 

The photo walk was nice though as I managed to capture some of my favorite spots.  I wanted to chill at one location in particular and just clear my head, but two things one the fountain was not on and two a woman was doing enough relaxing there for the two of us. A short walk to Kroger to grab your mother an apple pie and ice cream and I spent the rest of the evening conversing with her until she fell asleep. 

One thing about our neighborhood is that the people around here are very festive. You can definitely tell it's Halloween as you see how elaborate some have become with their homes. 

I feel great about this day as I think I'm going to keep up this schedule for the remainder of the week to develop a habit. It's now 10:17 and the Redskins are playing the Chiefs on Monday Night Football, I'm not really paying attention to it, but if the Redskins win that would place them in an overall tie for first place in the NFC with the Falcons. 

That's all I have for tonight Baby Milline, but one more thing I know these letters are titled 160 days but in 12 more days we will know your gender. This way I'll no longer have to address you as Baby Milline, and can call you by your name. 

Love You Baby Milline (for now), 

Your Father